A moment

This whole Stephen deal has been going on for a long time. It started out with me denying any sort of feeling I was having that we're not right for each other. Then I stopped denying it but tried ignoring it, or not letting myself recognize it. Then I let it sink it. After that I kept getting so irritated with him and I'd just want to do it and get if over with. But whenever those thoughts and feelings came into my head I would combat it with feelings of "he's my best friend I can't" or "no I would miss him to much" or "we've been dating so long can I really do it?" or "I just don't feel up to destroying someone's life" (believe me, I think this is unfortunately how he will perceive it :[ ). But now I've finally reached the point that I don't exactly want to do it anymore but I know it's what I need to do and I am finally ready to trust my Savior. I know, I should have been able to do that a long time ago. But it's so hard to trust someone with somebody else who is important to you. I've always known that everything is okay with the Savior, I guess I just haven't experienced it so strongly yet. I am not looking forward to doing this at all. But I am trusting my Savior that He will take care of not only me but Stephen too. :[

Stephen and I are talking on Friday.
Thanks to all of you, soo so much, who have been helping me through this. I'm so grateful for all of you!

I have more interesting (to me) things to blog about but I have to get ready for work.