So This Is My Posse

Lacey D. Stradling

Felicia A. Bainbridge

Jenny A. Mobley

Allen J. Williams

Christopher S. Tellington

Steven J. Meyer

Cody A. Winters

David B. Weston

Shea Metcalf

Joshua J. Malmgren

Douglas Johnson

I just thought I'd introduce you all. They are all so great and I looove them!

Here's some other fun pictures for your enjoyment from the past few weeks.

Doug catching a butterfly.

Awww Lacey and me.

Allen's priceless/normal face.

Yes.

Jenny and I pretending to be bricks.

Oh Felly, I love her face. After feeding the ducks.

Felicia is obsessed with matching people and was thrilled when she and Allen were both purple...

Me and Felicia's engagement picture.

Steve and Dave's engagement picture.

Chris and Dave playing Ninja.

Cody and Lacey. Presh.

Me and Jenny freezing our butts off in a one-man tent.

Josh about to hug (yes, HUG) the deer that chilled with us for like 45 min while we were camping.

Lacey, me, and Allen in the back of Cody's truck. Goin up the canyon.

These people have made life so fun.

Music

So I think I've gotten a little weird. Weirder.

In short: Zach and I had a huge falling out. Basically he got so so mad over something that wasn't even a big deal. And told me to stay out of his life, among other things. That was Monday night. It. Has. Been. So. Hard. I love that kid and that won't change. And amazingly, I'm not mad at him at all. Just sad. I've learned a lot about Christ through this experience.

Anyways. So even though we decided not to date and we labeled ourselves "friends," in all honesty, we were pretty much dating. In a weird sort of way. So you know, breaking up sucks.

When I'd go through sad times, I used to listen to music all the time. The music that expressed exactly what I was feeling. It was really theraputic. But this time around I'm afraid to. I don't know what's wrong with me. It's like, I've got these two songs that basically perfectly describe how I'm feeling, but I'm afraid to listen to them. That's partially because Zach and I used to listen to them together. I think I'm just scared because music tends to make my emotions more raw, and this is already enough pain thank you. And it's like, I don't really need the emotions and feelings I'm trying to tone down shouted in my ears.

But at the same time I have this driving NEED to hear the songs. So I'm listening to them, and it hurts so bad!!! But it feels so good. Gosh I miss Zach. I'm losing my mind.


And now it's not the same with you away,
Just holding onto hope to save my days.
I won't survive
So just stay with me tonight.
But if you fall back into my life
I promise you I would never let another day just pass us by.
"Fall Back Into My Life" -Amber Pacific

To everything in life that has an end
I hope you've made the best of your time with
The ones who matter most, the ones who cared...
It's all for you, all I've done I'd do again...
In time you'd make me see that you were there for me.
I'd give my best for you. I'd give my life for you.
"Dear ___, This Has Always Been About Standing Up For What You Believe In" -Amber Pacific

And a third song...

I don't blame you at all
For love gone wrong...
I'm trying to replace
Memories I can't erase
I'm making the most of time I spend with you.
"Learning to Forget" -Antifreeze


These sound a little emo, I know. I promise I'm okay. And I'm not writing this as a pity post. I've just gotta get it out you know? Haha. And I guess some of the lyrics don't totally line up. Like I know we had to go our separate ways so I'm not waiting for him to "fall back into my life," just wishing that he could. And then that whole "In time you'd make me see that you were there for me" part...yeah maybe Zach is saying that to me instead. Because I was always there for him. Haha didn't mean that to sound pompous or bratty. And the last song, oh man the memories are a killer, because they're so good haha. I miss him...this too shall pass...

I feel like a creeper but this is Zach. It's the only picture I have of him.