You never know what you'll overhear.
Alright so I know it's actually "keep your eyes peeled," which also applies to one part of this post, but whatever.
Before I begin, please make sure to read my post from yesterday
HERE.
And without further ado, please allow me to entertain
you with some things that have entertained
me over the last two days.
I'm not going to go in chronological order, but in funniness order.
Instance OneThis morning I was walking down the hall and overheard an interesting conversation between two girls. It went something like this:
Girl 1: "Yeah, I broke my neck and my back."
Girl 2: "What!? How? From gymnastics?"
Girl 1: "No. I got crushed between two rugby players."
What?
Instance TwoYesterday I was cutting through the freshman dorms between school and work. I strongly believe that the freshman class has the greatest diversity at BYU than the other classes, the reason for this being that it's a lot of kids whose parents made them come. Needless to say, they don't want to be here and, as such, are FAR from the BYU "norm."
I passed a boy who was dressed somewhat gothicly with a set of keys swinging from a lanyard on his neck. I stared at him a little bit confused, because I'd never seen a lanyard that went clear below the belt. Then I realized his "lanyard" was in fact a dog leash wrapped around his neck....with the leash part slipped through the handle and his keys attached to the clip at the end. Weird.
Instance ThreeYesterday I went to the social security office to officially have my last name changed. That place was full of characters.
There was a big gruff guy in there wearing super torn up jeans and a jacket with $100 bill print all over it. He was listening to a CD player with giant headphones. I sat down to wait and he sat directly across from me and kept staring at me. I awkwardly avoided his eye contact.
A few minutes after I sat down, another guy walked out of the back. He had something white in his mouth and quickly removed it with a wad of paper towels. I didn't get a good look but it looked oddly like a coke joint. He sat down near myself and the other man and started fidgeting. The big guy looked over at him, gave him a dirty look, and moved to a chair with his back to him.
The fidgety guy asked me what time it was, so I told him and he started walking around the office. At that time, the big guy turned and looked at me and made the "crazy" sign (you know, the finger going in circles around the ear) and the "he's high" sign (pretending to smoke). I nodded in agreement. He turned his chair towards me and took his headphones off and said, "My name is Brian." I felt awkward, not wanting to risk being hit on since I'm married, but also not wanting to be a jerk and ignore him. So I told him my name was Lisa.
He said a few random things to me, and then said, "Have you ever sold in your life?" At this point I was thinking, "What? No drug deal is going down here...." And I said, "No, I never have." Then he proceeded to tell me that's what he does. I laughed awkwardly and pulled out my phone to text Dan so as to appear distracted (rude of me, I know). While I was texting I could tell he was still watching me, then he said, "Okay. Well see you later then." And I smiled and said, "See you later." And he continued to sit there staring at me.
Well, the fidgety guy came and sat back down and was soon followed by another ruffian. This man looked rather disheveled, had long hair and a messy appearance, but looked a bit more normal than the other two. Apparently he and the fidgety guy knew each other, because the fidgety guy turned to him and asked how the club was.
The new guy answered, "They wouldn't let me in. I'm a suspect on the news for stealing a snake so I have to have written permission for everything."
What!?!? Luckily I got called to the desk shortly after that. I was caught somewhere between baffled, frightened, and highly amused.
Today I was telling this story to a few of my friends at work and they said, "Wait. Was the big guy B Money??" B Money is a rapper in Provo who has a few mental disabilities. And all of a sudden it dawned on me. I'd seen B Money once before at Wendy's, wearing a $100 bill jacket. But in my memory he was a LOT shorter.
So I googled a picture and sure enough, the mysterious Brian from the social security office is in fact B Money.
I feel comforted knowing he wasn't some creeper trying to hit on me, but actually a really nice guy who just has a few mental problems (that is meant in the nicest way possible, I don't know how to word it otherwise so I hope it doesn't come across as me making fun at all, because I definitely am not). One of my friends had hung out with him before several years back and said he was really funny. If only I had known I was in the company of fame!!
Finally, we got our wedding photos in the mail. I might post some of them later. I'm not too happy with how my dress looks in them. Actually I almost cried when I saw how fluffy and fat my dress makes me look, even after my aunt took 2 feet of fabric out of the skirt. :[
