Point: Nothing.

I wish I didn't have so many pictures on my camera...it's just this dumb thing I do where I save a lot of pictures that are special to me or that are really funny etc. Even if I have them saved on the computer, I just can't delete them from my memory card in case I for some reason need to look at one of them. And because of this, I have over 700 pictures on my card. I would delete a lot but since there's so many, it seems like such a huge and unconquerable chore to go through all of them and be tough with myself and make myself delete them. And ALSO because of this, I never upload pictures anymore because it's a pain in the butt to search through all of my pictures to upload the most recent ones. For some reason when I plug my camera in, all of the pictures come up in the most random order and so I have to look through every single one to find the ones I want to upload. Blaahhhh...

Well I figured I'd write a blog since I haven't blogged in a month. I don't know why I bother doing this because I have no friends and I don't know how to add, let alone find friends. Plus, I don't think any of my friends have a blogspot. Blah again. Oh well.

Lately I have been getting really frustrated and hurt and whatever really easily. I don't know why. I guess I just feel lonely and stupid and boring and annoying. I don't know what to do with myself. I feel bad for Stephen because I've really been an emotional rollercoaster the past couple of days. The smallest things that shouldn't really matter end up being this huge deal in my head or making me feel really bad about something or about myself and Stephen has to deal with these effects on me. He really is a great guy and I am so lucky to have him...he's so patient and loving and I really don't deserve him but I'm very glad that I do have him. I just wish we were married already. I know marriage wouldn't fix all of my problems and would in fact come with it's own troubles and trials but I think that it actually would fix some of the things I'm dealing with. I don't know. Whatever. My blogs are all probably boring. So sorry to all of you who don't read this because you don't even know my blog exists. Haha. I need to find someone who I can borrow the Twilight series from. The past month I've been craving them. I need to read them again.

Well I guess that's it. That's pretty much what is on my mind. I think I might paint again tonight, although I should really get to bed because I've had a lot of late nights recently. Oh well...whatever.

Tonight I was at Stephen's house. I left to go home a little bit after 11. As I was approaching the stoplight at Stapley and Southern, I happened to glance at the AM/PM or whatever gas station it is that's on the corner. In front of the gas station there's a bus stop with a bench. I saw a man sitting on the bench and I almost stopped breathing. The guy was sitting with his head tilted back and he wasn't moving at all. I looked closely at him and it looked like there was something dripping down the side of his head. I noticed there was a puddle underneath him. My first thought was obviously that he'd been shot in the head and that he was sitting on the bench dead and no one had noticed him yet. I started freaking out and so when I turned the corner, I pulled into the gas station and went out the other exit nearest the guy. I looked closely and I saw the same thing. The guy wasn't moving at all. So I started going back to Stephen's house. I called him and I didn't even realize how shaken up I was until I started talking. That was because I couldn't even think or speak coherently and it took me about ten times longer than it normally would have to tell Stephen what I had seen. He sounded really alarmed and told me to come back. I asked him if he'd come look with me. By that time I could feel all of the color drain out of my face and I was breathing really shallow. My hands were starting to shake, too, and my stomach felt really weird.

So I pulled up in front of Stephen's house and he got in the car. We got back out onto Southern and he told me to pull into the gas station in the entrance closest to the guy and to shine my lights on him if I could. It was really weird because when he told me to shine my lights on him, I was filled with fear and right away I said, "No, I can't." I guess I was afraid of what I might see if I did. But I tried to do it anyways. As I pulled into the turning lane, the guy slowly brought up his head and kind of rubbed his face/hair. So he wasn't dead. We drove by again and I looked closely at the puddle. It looked like water, not blood. I was glad that I hadn't found a dead guy but at the same time I felt really stupid for scaring myself, Stephen, and his family. It was seriously so creepy though.

I took Stephen back to his house and went home the same way. I looked really closely at the guy again. He was still moving and stuff. But I swear it still looked like he had something dark dripping down the side of his face. It really freaked me out and like I said, it was creepy. There's really not another word for it....I guess that was coupled because of our trip to Home Depot tonight...Stephen and I drove past some super ghetto apartments. I'm not saying that just because they looked run-down (which they did), but it really was ghetto. It looked so scary, just like something you'd see in a movie. He told me there used to be shootings there every night but now it's just every other night. Of course he was kidding but I think you get the idea...So I guess I just had shooting in the back of my mind and that's why I freaked out so much...anyways...yeah.

Well....I have to get up kind of early tomorrow so I'm going to go to bed. I say I'm going to bed but in reality I probably won't for another half hour haha. Yeah whatever....Good night.

So I just spent a ridiculous amount of time messing with the html to get my blogspot looking like this. I should have been asleep an hour and a half ago haha...oh well. At least this looks cool now.

I just wanted to make a post so my profile didn't look quite so naked...so here we go...my first post. Exciting huh!? Haha. I really want to mess with the html for this post...but my bed is calling. I sound like such a computer nerd with all of this html stuff. Really, I don't know anything about computers. I'm just good at figuring out how to alter the html. So yeah. Well anyways, I'm off to bed. Good night all of you people who don't read this!